New French President!

[Matt]

Parisians Take to the Streets to Welcome New President

Dateline: Valletta

The political crisis which briefly threatened to plunge France into chaos has been averted. Parisians, who had gathered in the cafés huddled over newspapers and wine, exchanging ever more outlandish rumors, spilled into the streets in celebration. It seemed to this reporter that everyone had a bottle of something: wine, champagne, brandy. Women hugged and kissed passersby, and even the presence of German troops in Burgundy and Gascony could not dampen the high spirits of the city of lights.

The new president appeared on the balcony of the Palais de l'Élysée to address the people, thanking them for their support and pledging a new dawn for the French Republic. "We have appointed ambassadors to all the great powers," the president said, "and hope to clear away the failed policies of the past. Vive la France!"

Later, a spontaneous parade marched under the Arc de Triomphe, comprised of the citizenry and oddly, the only uniforms in sight were those of the police and firefighters. It was a sobering reminder that troops were still in the field, and some wondered aloud as to their loyalty to the new regime. As night fell, the Parisians remained out of doors, as no one wanted the day to end. In the garden of the Tuileries, some gathered sans clothing, and modesty prevents this reporter from relating further detail, except to say the number of empty bottles was truly amazing.

Submitted respectfully to The Maltese Falcon